Wednesday, February 16, 2005

"I will be so brief I have already finished." --Salvador Dali.

ps. Did you know there is such a thing as a "gourmet" frozen rat? Who'd a thunk it.
This is for those with short attention spans. Things that make me happy. Warm climates :-). Dafodills suddenly growing and blooming in our front yard. The way my puppy likes me to hug him. Not fighting. Discovering that I sometimes laugh like a little kid. And there's not much like an Audrey Hepburn movie with a cup of hot herbal tea to make your headache and sore throat better. "The La End".

Saturday, February 12, 2005

It’s been a while, sorry. It’s not for lack of thoughts to write on though. Life has been busy but not that busy. As I look back over the past few months it makes me smile in a sad way. I can see the way my relationship with God and even who I am has changed over the past couple months. I got back from break, refreshed and optimistic. Life had a few new twists and burdens but nothing I couldn’t handle. However, God isn’t one to leave us in the shallow end. I’m like a little kid, sitting at a comfortable depth splashing around happily. Then all of a sudden I notice that my splashing has pushed me deeper than I can stand; I remember I can’t swim. God didn’t die so I could remain comfortable though.
*Laugh* I asked God at one point what area of my life needed working. (Almost as dangerous as asking for patience.) He showed me and it was pretty obvious right away he’s the only one able to keep my head from going under. It turns out that the temper I thought I’d mastered had simply not been provoked much. Nope, its still there and worse than ever.
I don’t want to carry my anger around like a pet. I don’t want to mourn over the harm I see it doing. I would rather it just go away. It takes courage though, humility and courage. Great humility…is this what’s meant by picking up your cross? Dying to self eh? Funny, I always imagined a peaceful death in my sleep, not stepping before a firing squad and yelling fire. Lord help...